Is it too late?

Keeping up with a blog can be hard (at least for me). I really enjoy reading other people's blogs and I can tell they take the time to update it as much--and often-- as possible. As much as I would want to make my blog public and by public I mean share it with friends and/or family, I don't know how I would feel or react to their reactions about my blog and what I write. Because of this, I much rather pretend there's somebody out there that I don't know that is reading or reads my blogs and it doesn't matter if they follow me or leave a comment, what matters is that they read it. I have so much in mind and I don't even know where to start or talk about next.

My third year in college is soon coming to an end (in 3 weeks or so!) and for once I wish time could slow down. I feel like I have learned to managed my time a little better but I feel like I fell short. I always doubt myself and always feels like I could have gone the extra mile. Oh well, no regrets I guess I have to learn from my mistakes (which I make too much of). Sometimes I feel it's a little too late to start all over or to fix certain things or to realize my mistakes...I don't know. This college business is a drag. About 85% of the time I feel, like I just want to sleep. But don't get me wrong, I am very much enjoying college but in a different way I guess. I am always complaining or thinking about what I'm going to do after I graduate or stressing about the fact that I've never had a boyfriend or that I've never been kissed. I am getting "old" and I have not experience what I think should have experienced a long time ago. It's just so sad that college has made me a little anti-social. Back home I have guy friends, in fact, my two best friends are guys, but here, I feel like I can hardly speak when I'm around a guy whether I think he's attractive or not and I just don't get why. 

I have always considered myself a super friendly person and outgoing. But now I feel hostile and full or hate (somewhat). Girls can be vicious (no, I did not just realize that) and guys can be a**holes. I am no way near perfect and I know I can be one of those vicious girls but I blame it on society (or should I?). I mean why can we all get along-- I don't care if this is hippie talk but why can't we? Nowadays we think too much about what people might think of us (yes, we do and I know it's hard to accept that) and we have to learn to let go of all that negativity. Just yesterday I came to an agreement with myself. I love to eat and no one is going to change that but me and I don't want to change that. I love my body and if I really wanted to be skinny like the models in a magazine I would have done that a long time ago. But I haven't. 

This world is constantly changing and I am not going to miss on all the wonderful things that one day might not exists. For now, I am going to take a trip back to the 60's and live so carefree and in harmony with myself and the people around me. Like my friend says karma will take care of those that are/were mean to us. My conscience is free of guilt. I know who I am and I don't want to pretend to be anybody else. 

With this said, I hope you all had a great long weekend because I know I sure did ;)

xoxo,

L.